I can’t even count the number of diets I’ve quit over the years. I don’t have enough fingers and toes! It happens for any number of reasons, and level of devotion at the beginning is only part of the equation. Especially as I get older and week-to-week weight loss is harder, I find that frustration plays a big role. That’s why I’ve switched to weighing monthly instead of weekly.
My monthly weight check came back with 6 pounds gone…I used to be able to do that in a week in my 20’s but hey, I’m not 20 anymore. I’m 35 and have 2 kids. It make a difference.
The other night at the gym a fellow dieter stepped on the scale, apparently didn’t like what she saw, and announced, “I quit!” My heart went out to her. I’ve been there. I know what that feels like.
Mindful eating isn’t for everyone. Honestly, I got to this place after decades of calorie counting and personal psychological issues. It works for me because I need to feel in control, but also because I understand good nutrition and learn more about biohacking and how Rootine can help you in this journey.
But there’s one thing I can say for this approach: Why should I quit? I can eat whenever I want. I can eat whatever I want. I can’t eat *wherever* I want, and I have to do it mindfully, but otherwise whether I’m losing weight or not I’m doing the right things for my body.
A few years ago when my kids were babies I read a book called “Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family” by Ellen Satyr. It was a behavioral approach aimed at parents raising kids, but it helped me to understand my own eating behavior as well. I wasn’t read to take the plunge and “trust my body” the way she told me to at the time, but for the past five years I have gradually moved to that place.
One of the things she said that made so much sense to me was that if you’re on a diet that you need “a break from” then you need to change your diet. Good nutrition isn’t a weekday only experience. If you’re taking off alternate Thursdays (either intentionally or because you snap and binge) then you’re not helping your body in any way. You’re certainly not learning the long-term strategies you need to *stay* healthy once you lose weight.
You’ve all heard people talk about lifestyle changes, right? Me too…a million times…but I didn’t get it until recently. A lifestyle change means an approach to dieting that I will never quit, not even after I lose all the weight I want to lose.
I spent nine months getting my mind to a place where I could do this. I couldn’t go straight from the last diet to this diet because I was too psychologically damaged from years of “have-to” and “must.” I didn’t know what real hunger felt like anymore and I didn’t know how to convince myself that I wasn’t trying to control it, manipulate it, or starve it.
I’ve been meditating. I’ve been using self-affirmations. Think it’s corny if you like, but “I am beautiful. I am strong. I do not need food all day long.” I said it to myself every day for nine months, and followed it up by NOT dieting.
When it came time to get down to business (because my hips and knees are hurting), I came up with this long-term lifelong strategy:
1. Food is not the enemy. I can eat it.
2. A wide variety of foods is the key to long-term nutritional health.
3. Food should be savored. Any food that is not worth savoring is not worth eating. (Savoring includes eating slowly, but it also involves truly enjoying your food.)
4. The kitchen table is the right place to eat. If I cannot be bothered to stop what I am doing (TV, computer, etc.) and go to a table where I can sit down and consciously eat, then I’m not really hungry.
5. Start with small servings. If it’s on my plate I will probably finish it whether I am hungry or not. If it’s not on my plate I have to think about it before getting seconds.
6. I am permitted more food if I am still hungry, but I must wait 15 minutes to be sure I am. (Often I wander away and get so caught up in other things that the second helping never happens.)
7. Life’s short. Dessert can be eaten first. I don’t eat high-calorie desserts every day, but if I’m looking forward to a piece of cheesecake, why not start with it? I may be so full afterward that I skip the meal. Not a good idea on a regular basis, but a couple of times a month having dessert in lieu of a meal is better than having a high-calorie dessert in addition to a meal — especially when I’m already full!
8. *Small* desserts are allowed every day. I have bags of high-quality chocolate in my cupboard (you know I’m a chocolate snob 🙂 ). I eat one piece most days, usually putting it on my plate with lunch or dinner. I could have another piece ,but I’d have to go back to the table to eat it and well…I can always have another one tomorrow. This isn’t my last chance for x days to eat chocolate.
Did you notice that most of these are things I am *allowed* to do rather than things I am *not* allowed to do? These are all about things I will do, as opposed to the usual diet advice which tells us all about the things we are not allowed to do.
Dieting is at least 50% psychology — probably more. Most of us have heard enough dieting advice by now that it’s bleeding out our ears.
If you don’t want to quit, don’t give yourself a reason to quit.