Dear Santa:
You’ve pulled off the jolly old fat man image for centuries, and I think that’s terrific. I really do. It’s wonderful that you enjoy life, cookies, and cocoa, and particularly amazing that you have a special kind of magic sustaining your health so that year after year, you can be a symbol of giving at Christmastime.
The thing is, though, that the rest of us mere mortals have to worry about heart disease, type II diabetes, arthritis, back pain, and any number of other weight-related issues in a world full of sugar. So when you have us waiting in line for 45 minutes to see you, and you set a table of donuts right along that line so that we have to spend 10-15 minutes passing it, it’s sort of a nightmare scenario for those of us who don’t want to wait for New Year’s to resolve to live a healthier life.
So my Christmas wish this year is very simple. World peace would be great, if overly optimistic. Toys and games are fun, but I don’t want to be selfish. All I want you to do is move the table. It’s a way to help make the world a healthier place, one donut at a time.
Wishing you all the best this holiday season!
Yours,
Christine
P.S. Those sweet little instruments of torture looked at me through their hollow sockets. “Eat me!” said hundreds of temptations. “You can just run harder tomorrow. Eat me!” And do you know what I said? I said, “NO!”