{"id":2503,"date":"2013-06-04T08:00:50","date_gmt":"2013-06-04T13:00:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/christineamsden.com\/wordpress\/?p=2503"},"modified":"2013-06-04T08:23:28","modified_gmt":"2013-06-04T13:23:28","slug":"characters-welcome-stagger","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/christineamsden.com\/wordpress\/?p=2503","title":{"rendered":"Characters Welcome: Stagger"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Characters Welcome is proud to bring you Stagger, a fantasy hero from James Maxey&#8217;s latest adventure series. Stagger himself will be telling you the story of how he first met the woman he falls madly in love with. And really, who can resist a woman capable of tearing a man&#8217;s arm off?<\/p>\n<p>Trouble has a way of finding Infidel. On her first night in town, a mercenary named Crusher gets a little too friendly with her in a bar and she rips his arm out of his socket. In the aftermath, Stagger introduces himself and offers to buy her a drink. It&#8217;s the beginning of a long and beautiful friendship&#8230;.<\/p>\n<style type=\"text\/css\"><!--\n@page { margin: 0.79in } \t\tP { margin-bottom: 0.08in; direction: ltr; color: #000000; widows: 2; orphans: 2 } \t\tP.western { font-family: \"Times New Roman\", serif; font-size: 10pt; so-language: en-US } \t\tP.cjk { font-family: \"Times New Roman\", serif; font-size: 10pt } \t\tP.ctl { font-family: \"Times New Roman\", serif; font-size: 10pt }\n--><\/style>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft\" alt=\"\" src=\"https:\/\/d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net\/books\/1323068557l\/11511696.jpg\" width=\"295\" height=\"475\" \/>Greetings, miss. I notice the rest of the clientele of the Black Swan are giving you wide berth at the moment, but I personally never liked Crusher. He was a bully and, as he demonstrated the second you came through the door, an incorrigible lecher. You hadn\u2019t been at the bar five seconds before he had his paws on you. No fair-minded judge can blame you for ripping his arm off. He thought he was a lady-killer, but we all knew it was only a matter of time before some lady killed him.<\/p>\n<p>People call me Stagger. Not my original name, of course. It\u2019s a rule of Commonground that no one here reveals their old names. The whole economy here is built upon illicit activities. Many of the denizens of this port have nooses waiting for them if they venture back to more civilized lands. It\u2019s the ultimate rudeness to ask someone why they\u2019ve come here. Our motto is, what happens outside Commonground, stays outside Commonground.<\/p>\n<p>So, while I\u2019m curious as to how a slender sprite of a girl like yourself came to be strong enough to tear Crusher\u2019s arm right out of the socket, I\u2019ll refrain from asking. Still, I\u2019m sure we could find some neutral topic of civil discussion. Since you\u2019ve improved the atmosphere of this bar considerably by freeing us from Crusher\u2019s trademark loutishness, I feel I should reward you by buying your drinks.<\/p>\n<p>Don\u2019t drink! Is that\u2026 is that even an option? How can\u2026 I mean\u2026 I mean, of course, it\u2019s absolutely forbidden that I should ask how it is you don\u2019t drink, but\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Oh. Hmm. I suppose that makes sense. If you have the strength to crush a man\u2019s skull like an eggshell, I can certainly understand the importance of maintaining careful control. But, I fear that you\u2019ll find very little else to drink in this port. You seem robust, but I assure you the local drinking water is unsuited for the guts of us longmen.<\/p>\n<p>Longmen? That\u2019s what the natives call us. The original inhabitants of this island are all pygmies. The dragon who lives in the volcano has destroyed every attempt by longmen to colonize this island, but he doesn\u2019t mess with the pygmies. Probably for the same reason that men don\u2019t hunt mice. Not enough meat to make it worth the effort.<\/p>\n<p>Milk? Not a chance. Greatshadow\u2014that\u2019s the dragon\u2014loves livestock. Cows have very brief life spans on this island. The lava pygmies do keep a few scrawny goats higher up in the mountains, but fresh milk never makes it to Commonground, only cheese.<\/p>\n<p>If you wish to keep your wits about you but still slake your thirst, might I recommend a cider? You\u2019d have to drink a gallon before you even feel a buzz.<\/p>\n<p>Wonderful. Battle Ox! Bring the woman a bottle of your finest cider. Put it on my tab. Don\u2019t give me that look. You know I\u2019ll be paying my tab next week. I\u2019ve ascertained the location of another lost temple and\u2026 what? Really? My tab\u2019s gotten that sizable? Well, then, think of the percentages. Adding another bottle to that sum is the merest fraction of a percent.<\/p>\n<p>Thank you. You\u2019re the finest bartending minotaur in a hundred mile radius, and don\u2019t let anyone ever tell you differently.<\/p>\n<p>So, miss. I\u2019m not so uncivil as to ask why you\u2019ve come to town, but do you plan to reside for long in this area?<\/p>\n<p>I see. I wish you only the best in your goals, but I must warn you the job options for attractive young women in a rude port such as this are rather unpromising.<\/p>\n<p>No! Of course I\u2019m not suggesting your only option is prostitution. And, yes, under ordinary circumstances, I agree, someone with the strength to rip off a man\u2019s limb in one clean pluck could make a good living as a mercenary. But\u2026 I say this meaning no offense\u2026 you just don\u2019t look the part.<\/p>\n<p>I mean, if you take a look around, you\u2019ll spot some of the most successful mercenaries in Commonground make this bar their home on their off hours. Crusher, boastful as he was, wasn\u2019t among the truly elite ranks of swords for hire. See that brute over there? The guy who\u2019s face is just one big mask of scars? They call him No-Face. He\u2019s a big one, ain\u2019t he? Being big is part of the game in the mercenary business. It\u2019s not enough to be formidable. You\u2019ve got to look intimidating.<\/p>\n<p>Hah! You\u2019re right. I\u2019m certainly not capable of intimidating anyone. I spent my youth lifting books, not swords. Books and bottles.<\/p>\n<p>Believe it or not, I was raised in a monastery. My father was a monk. Obviously, he had trouble with his vow of chastity. I\u2019m told my mother was a prostitute. She dumped me at the monks\u2019 doorstep the day I was born. It\u2019s not a lot of fun growing in such a cloistered atmosphere. My one escape was books. One book in particular was my favorite: <i>The Vanished Kingdom<\/i>, by Judicious Merchant. Merchant came to Commonground to make his fortune in the pygmy slave trade, but wound up instead getting seduced by tales of lost cities hidden in the jungle. I used to dream of running away from the monastery and making my fortune as a grave looter. Did I say grave looter? I meant as an antiques acquisition expert.<\/p>\n<p>As fate would have it, the other thing the monks taught me aside from how to read was how to drink. They had vineyards to produce sacramental wine. I\u2019m not certain if the wine is actually sacred or not, but I know that drinking it made me feel like the Divine Author was smiling upon me. There was some\u2026 unpleasantness\u2026 when the monks discovered I was the thief tapping the casks in the dead of night. I was only twelve when I departed the monastery with a belly full of wine and the contents of the poor box lining my pockets. I jumped a ship heading to Commonground and never looked back.<\/p>\n<p>Dreams, my dear girl, do come true in this wild and wonderful land. My scholarly skills make me the preeminent authority on the ruins that lay buried beneath the roots and vines around us. I\u2019ve carted from this jungle fortunes enough to last a more prudent man ten lifetimes. Alas, the fortunes seldom last me long. As you may have gathered from the astronomical number discussed regarding my bar tab, I have a bad habit of shouting, \u201cDrinks are on me!\u201d whenever I have even a single moon in my pocket. I\u2019m also, and I say this with all possible modestly, the absolute champion in this world of being unlucky at cards. There is no surer guarantee of someone else getting dealt four queens than for me to be dealt three aces.<\/p>\n<p>But, even with my intemperance and poor luck, the real reason I can never hold onto my money is that I\u2019m a sucker for any poor sap with a sob story. Catch me when I\u2019ve been drinking, and I\u2019ll give you the shirt off my back if you need it. Alas, as you may surmise, I didn\u2019t come to be called Stagger by a reputation for frequent\u2026 or even occasional\u2026 sobriety.<\/p>\n<p>So. You\u2019re new in a strange and dangerous port. Penniless, from the looks of you. You need money and you need it fast. I know you came here thinking you\u2019d make a living with a strong arm and a sharp sword. But, might I suggest that a shovel would be a better tool to translate your physical prowess into a fortune? I meant it when I told Battle Ox that I\u2019ve learned the location of a lost temple. It\u2019s on the most dangerous part of the island, the northern slope, where a single misstep can send you tumbling a mile down sheer cliffs into a violent sea. And if gravity doesn\u2019t get you, there are lava pygmies who still hold some of the sites dug into the cliffs as sacred and protect them with poisoned darts. If you\u2019re lucky enough to avoid the pygmies, the local fauna features three kinds of poisonous snakes and nine different species of spiders that can drop you dead in your tracks. And don\u2019t forget, there\u2019s a dragon.<\/p>\n<p>Yeah, it\u2019s dangerous. But, what of it? Everyone has a final page in the Great Book. I\u2019d rather meet my end running from a tribe of angry pygmies than sick and worn out from age. And think of what we might accomplish! If we navigate all the dangers and become the first people to step foot into a lost temple in two thousand years we\u2019re likely to find\u2026 well, usually, just a lot of dust and some broken pottery. But, sometimes, there\u2019s gold, or jade, or dragon bones.<\/p>\n<p>You interested? Of course, I don\u2019t mind if you think it over, but, if I may be so bold, I think you\u2019re being coy. You already know your answer. I can see it in your eyes\u2026 you have treasure fever. It\u2019s a common ailment in these parts. The only cure is to risk life and limb on a grand adventure. Help me get to this temple, and we\u2019ll split all the treasure fifty fifty.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s the spirit! Stick with me, my girl, and I\u2019ll lead you to wonders beyond your wildest dreams.<\/p>\n<p><center><\/center><center>********<\/center>Greatshadow is the primal dragon of fire, an elemental evil whose malign intelligence spies upon mankind through every candle flame, waiting to devour any careless victim he can claim.<\/p>\n<p>The Church of the Book has assembled a team of <strong>twelve battle-hardened adventurers<\/strong> to slay the dragon once and for all. But tensions run high between the leaders of the team who view the mission as a holy duty and the super-powered mercenaries who add power to their ranks, who view the mission primarily as a chance to claim Greatshadow&#8217;s vast treasure trove. If the warriors fail to slay the beast, will they doom mankind to death by fire?<\/p>\n<p>Greatshadow is the first book in an exciting new adventure series.<\/p>\n<h2><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Greatshadow-Dragon-Apocalypse-James-Maxey\/dp\/1907992723\/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1370352139&amp;sr=8-2&amp;keywords=James+Maxey\" target=\"_blank\">\u00a0Buy Now at Amazon<\/a><\/strong><\/h2>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Characters Welcome is proud to bring you Stagger, a fantasy hero from James Maxey&#8217;s latest adventure series. Stagger himself will be telling you the story of how he first met the woman he falls madly in love with. And really, who can resist a woman capable of tearing a man&#8217;s arm off? Trouble has a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[210],"tags":[255,257,256,259,26,254,253,258],"class_list":["post-2503","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-characters-welcome","tag-adventure","tag-character","tag-characters-welcome-2","tag-dragon","tag-fantasy","tag-greatshadow","tag-james-maxey","tag-stagger"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/christineamsden.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2503","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/christineamsden.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/christineamsden.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christineamsden.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christineamsden.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2503"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/christineamsden.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2503\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2508,"href":"https:\/\/christineamsden.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2503\/revisions\/2508"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/christineamsden.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2503"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christineamsden.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2503"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christineamsden.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2503"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}