Mags, from Foundation, is still trying to fit in as a Herald’s Trainee, but things go sound when he discovers his deceased parents are something worse than thieves — they’re foreigners! At least, the revelation becomes worse when paired with the murky and completely useless vision of foreseers involving the king, blood, and a foreigner. It’s one of those doesn’t-make-sense-until-it-comes-to-fruition types and even then it reeks of self-fulfillment.

As a follow-up to Foundation, which I thoroughly enjoyed, I found this disappointing. The story was slow, tedious, and it involved long descriptions of a made-up sporting event that reminded me of Quiddich (at least in terms of how little I wanted to read long passages about it). There was a lot of “a day in the life.”

I also found myself unconvinced by a point when Mags’s two best friends turn on him. They said some things, kicked him at a moment when he was down, that I could only imagine an enemy saying.

I am still eager to read the final volume, but on the strength of the first book, not this one. I can’t not recommend this book, because I’m still recommending the trilogy, but don’t get your hopes up. (I type as I get my hopes wayyyy up for the conclusion of this series! )

Rating: 2.5/5

Title: Intrigues
Author: Mercedes Lackey
ISBN: 0756406390

As of this month, I have decided to offer professional critiquing services for novelists interested in honest, insightful feedback. As many of you know, I’ve been teaching workshops for the Muse and Savvy Authors for years, but you may not know what I enjoy most about them: I love reading a promising piece of work, identifying underlying issues, and helping the author take their work to the next level. There are times when I even make this connection — to the story or the author — and there’s an Aha! moment. Those moments make my day, and I want to experience more of them.

I did some research on the going rate for critiquing services, and it is justifiably high. Reading a novel takes many hours — reading it with a keen eye takes more. I also know from experience that I can usually find underlying weaknesses in a story early on. I’ve read whole novels where I had to stop myself from noting, chapter after chapter, “And I STILL don’t understand why….” If the foundation isn’t strong, it shows throughout the entire book.

For these two reasons, I decided to offer initial critiques of the first 2k-5k words, plus a short summary. I actually put together three different packages, estimated how long I thought each would take, and put together a price list. (I won’t post them here because I can’t promise they won’t change. You can find them here.)

If you decide you’re interested, then once I send my detailed analysis of the beginning, we can decide if further critique would be useful. I don’t want to speculate publicly about what might make me decide to offer further critique, although I will say that as much as I’d like the extra money, that won’t be my only (or even primary) concern. I have to feel that I can help in some way.

Mags, so named because he had the eye of a Magpie, was a slave in a gem mine until one of Valdemar’s magical companions chose him. After that, he entered a whole new world as a trainee, and despite all odds, attracted the notice of some powerful people who were eager to use his skills.

This is something of a fluid story, without the typical event-driven structure. It’s really about Mags, so it takes some time to get to the intrigue portion. Nevertheless, I found it captivating from the first. The detailed descriptions of working in a mine, coupled with Mags’s sad inside view of the situation, were a masterpiece. We might think what he endured, his treatment, and the little he had to eat were criminal — and they were — but Mags just thought that’s the way life was. The priests told him so, after all.

I read this book over two years ago, before the two sequels were available. I reread it recently, now that I have the two sequels (almost) in hand, and I enjoyed it more than I did the first time. The reason, I think, is largely because I have those two sequels. The story doesn’t end in book one, but that’s normal for Mercedes Lackey. She writes in trilogies, so I recommend reading her that way. Luckily, unlike some other fantasy authors I could name, she doesn’t write insanely long books. nor does she write insanely long series — just neatly packaged 3-volume sets.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who likes fantasy and/or strong characters. It is other world fantasy, but don’t let the label get you down if you don’t usually go for epic/D&D-like books. This isn’t that. It only belongs in the same category by a fluke of setting.

Rating: 4.5/5

Title: Foundation
Author: Mercedes Lackey
ISBN: 1423307941
Published: October 2008

I’m sure you’ve heard of dissociative identity disorder (multiple personalities), but perhaps you were unaware that in fiction, there is often a dramatic and equally troubling phenomenon: Sudden Transformation of Personality. We’ll call it STOP!

STOP usually occurs when a character does something at odds with everything the reader has been led to believe about him or her. This unexpected and unexplained new behavior is often convenient to the plot, such as when the “intelligent” hero rushes blindly into certain death, dismissing all logic in favor of an exciting conclusion. I see it in romance, when either the hero and heroine randomly decides to run away, usually near the end of the story when you’re not sure what else is delaying the HEA. (The average solution to this problem is to have some third party disaster show up. The bad solution is the STOP. The good solution is a subject for another post…)

STOP plagues many a decent read, and inevitably…infuriatingly…past the point where I would normally just stop reading. I probably should, but instead, I will put out this universal plea to writers: Don’t allow your characters to suffer from STOPs. If you find that your character can no longer behave in a manner consistent with his or her original personality, then find a different character to start with, one whose personality fulfills your needs.

Roanna has been in love with Webb for as long as she can remember. As a child, it was a sort of hero worship, but as she grew older, the love matured into something more real. So it broke her heart when Webb married her spoiled cousin, Jessie.

Then one day, everything falls apart. Roanna spies Jessie with another man, but she doesn’t want to tell Webb, because she’s afraid of hurting him. She does lose her mind, however, and kisses him, a kiss that Jessie interrupts. Jessie and Webb fight, and later that night, Roanna finds Jessie’s body. Webb is convicted in the eyes of public opinion, even if there is no proof, and he leaves.

Ten years later….

I loved this story. I did think the setup (which I summarized for you) was just a bit slow, but worth it to get through to the good part, when Roanna and Webb meet again. Both Roanna and Jessie were orphaned as children (when Roanna was 7 and Jessie 13), and taken in by their grandmother, who loved Jessie more. Roanna was a challenge, and had to fight to be worthy of love in her family’s eyes. She never measured up in anyone’s eyes except Webb, the second cousin who was also her protector. Her life came with consequences, chief among them an eating disorder (anorexia), which nearly killed her after Webb left.

Roanna and Webb were wonderful characters, and this book was full of both passion and love. (Not the same thing!) I highly recommend this to romance readers. Or heck, I recommend just about anything by Linda Howard. She’s one of those authors I just pick up — no questions asked. I don’t even bother reading the back of the book; if I find a new Linda Howard book (or an old one I haven’t read), I’ll be reading it within a few days, regardless of what’s waiting on my nightstand!

Rating: 5/5

Title: Shades of Twilight
Author: Linda Howard
ISBN: 0671019716
Published: November 2009

I’m teaching another Savvy Authors Workshop starting next week…Beginnings.

It’s about what it sounds like it’s about…beginning a novel. We’ll talk about the all-important hook, and how to fill the reader in on background info without dumping it. It doesn’t matter what genre you write, most of the tricks and tools remain the same.

I will be giving personal feedback and attention, as usual. You’ll get detailed critique on the first chapter or so of your novel by the time all is done. The personal feedback portion is essential, because as I Like to stress…there are no rules, only guidelines. Every story is unique.

I hope you’ll join me! I always have a lot of fun in these workshops.

Back in second grade, you had a pen pal from New Orleans, but she disappeared when Hurricane Katrina hit, and you haven’t heard from her since. Now you’re in 7th grade, and there’s a new girl in school who some thing is a zombie, but who you think reminds you of your old pen pal.

You see her going into a cemetery. Do you follow?

“Choose Your Own Adventure” is as fun as always, with this spooky new book written for elementary or middle school readers. The premise is great, the writing style is quite good, and there even manages to be a bit of character in there. (Unusual for this type of book, but it actually made me feel more connected to the “you” who was supposed to be me.)

My only complaint is that I felt the endings were weak. I don’t want to spoil them, but in a few cases I just didn’t feel like it was truly over, and in a few other cases I was just hoping for a bit more. Nothing truly bad seems to happen, which may be because of the targeted age range, but I did feel that the journeys were spooky enough to warrant more consequential endings.

I do recommend this to Choose Your Own Adventure Enthusiasts, especially if you’re into spooky stories or zombies.

Rating: 4/5

Title: Zombie Pen Pal
Author: Ken McMurtry
ISBN: 1933390344
Published May 1, 2010

I give up! Really, I have no choice, and should have given up, on principle, years ago, but I fell in love with that smooth milk chocolate and refused to believe the experience was over. Alas, it is, and has been ever since Hershey’s bought Dove. The change in quality was marked and instantaneous, and it’s not going back. Dove is just another Hershey’s bar now, and I am in search of a new bunny.

This year, I decided to try Lindt chocolate bunnies. They’re actually a very cute little size, big enough to make me feel like I’m really getting to indulge my inner chocolate monster, but small enough not to give me a tummy ache. (The monster never seems to get a tummy ache, just me.)

Lindt is one of my new brands of choice. It’s not as smooth as the old Dove, but it’s rich and well textured. In fact, I recommend Lindt chocolate for s’mores. (For those who haven’t noticed, Hershey’s no longer melts when pressed against a hot, gooey marshmallow.)

Giradelli is another good brand, and the one I usually use for baking. (Nestle chocolate chips not properly melting when constant 350 degree heat is applied to them for 10-12 minutes straight. Seriously?) They also have some good candies. They don’t make bunnies (although you can buy a plush bunny from them in a basket with lots of their chocolates), but I did pick up a bag of milk chocolate and coconut eggs from them. WOW! Wait, it’s not Easter yet…um, well, you see, I had to try them to make sure they were okay. And just because I ate half the bag and now have to get another one…maybe I should wait until the day before Easter to buy another bag.

Godiva is another popular name in quality chocolate, but I’m afraid I find them a bit overrated. And overpriced. Lindt’s 3.5-oz chocolate bunny is $4.50 (I got it on sale for $3.50). The Godiva 9-oz bunny is $25, almost twice the price per ounce. Now, I haven’t tried their bunny, but I’ve certainly tried their chocolates, and they taste good. The trouble comes with value, because I don’t think they taste better than some of my more moderately priced indulgences.

So this year it’s Lindt bunnies, Giradelli eggs, Lindt chocolate carrots, coloring books, and toys. (Hey, even I know you can have too much of a good thing. My monster, on the other hand…)

What a fun story! The worst thing about it, IMHO, was the title. It just didn’t grab me. I haven’t read this author before, but put this on my to-read list based on the summary. Trouble was, every time I perused my to-read list, I couldn’t remember what this story was supposed to be about, so I went on to something else.

Finally, I picked it up, and I am glad I did. This was a time travel romance set largely in modern day Pittsburgh. It involved the misdeeds of the heroine’s father, and the man who traveled through time for revenge.

Joss is already engaged when the book begins, but that didn’t bother me. (It often does.) Rogan, her fiance, isn’t a great guy, but he’s not some classic a****** either. Oh, he has his faults, but it wasn’t over the top, which I appreciated. I would love to say more about him, actually, but I don’t like to put spoilers in my reviews. Suffice to say, I found his motivations believable.

Both Hugh and Joss learn things about themselves in this book. Hugh learns about the perils of leading a life of vengeance. Joss learns who she is, separate from her mother and the things she images her long-dead mother would have wanted for her.

Highly recommend to romance readers.

Rating: 4/5

Title: Aching for Always
Author: Gwyn Cready
ISBN: 1439107289
Published September 28, 2010

Juliet’s great-grandmother considered herself the perfect mistress, and was so proud of her life that she wrote about it in detail and left the memoirs to å granddaughter who never received them. Juliet inherits them when her great-uncle dies, right around the time she finds herself in a serious money crunch. Her solution — sell the memoirs to a publisher.

Lord Harrison isn’t enthusiastic about the idea, to say the least. Most of those named in the scandalous memoirs are dead, but his own father is not, and he doesn’t want scandal to touch his family.

What follows is a fun romance and a very quick read. Juliet’s dead great-grandmother even pops in to give advice and liven things up from time to time.

In the end, Juliet has two decisions to make — what to do with the memoirs and which of three men’s interests to encourage. I liked the ride, although I will admit that part of the ending bothered me.

Overall, I recommend to Regency Romance fans.

Rating: 3.5/5

Title: The Perfect Mistress
Author: Victoria Alexander
ISBN: 142011705X
Published January 25, 2011